


Sorry to Disappoint You

by MarchWindsAprilShowers



Series: Quote Prompts [8]
Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Original Character(s), Quote Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 05:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16212104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarchWindsAprilShowers/pseuds/MarchWindsAprilShowers
Summary: “Yeah, I know he’s cute. But, he’s mine. Touch him and you’ll be sorry.”





	Sorry to Disappoint You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IcePrincesChan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcePrincesChan/gifts).



The tavern that night was full of a variety of mean mugging day laborers, prostitutes, a few pirates, and one piano player in the corner tapping out a lazy tune. Most were gambling, throwing their heads back in raucous laughter as cigar smoke wafted around. Others were drinking their troubles away, and the last few loose men and women were trying their damndest to take advantage of an already inebriated, but generous, customer. The strawhats, although a little more colorful, seemed to blend in. It was long overdue for a good time. 

But, it wasn’t Nami, Usopp, or Chopper’s kind of place (it would be Usopp’s place if someone tried to out storytell him). The lostness on their faces that they tried to hide still gave them away. Their best option was to sit at the bar, drink, and try to talk over whooping and hollering from a game of poker going on behind them. The seats were surprisingly comfortable, considering that they looked as though they needed to be replaced years ago. The bartender, however, didn’t match the place at all. She was all frills, bright pink, curls, and nail polish, even the eyepatch over her left eye was bright yellow with ruffles on the edges. 

As the three pirates sat down, she smiled before blowing a big pink bubble of strawberry gum. “Welcome to Murphey’s Den! Haven’t seen you ‘round here before. Pick yer poison!” 

Nami smiled right back at her- this lady was her kind of people. But the bartender cut her off before she could thank her. 

“Wait! Yes, I  _ have  _ seen you- the entire lot of you.” She then shook her head in dismay. “Wouldn’t you know the damn marines keep puttin’ yer wanted posters up everywhere. Like loons they were. If they put that much work inta catchin’ you guys, they’d have done it already and saved a few trees!” She laughed, but then the welcome smile returns. “Name’s Alma, but everybody ‘round here calls me ‘Al’, as if my name weren’t small enough.”

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Nami, this is Usopp and Chopper, and I must say that you are the first friendly face we’ve seen in this town. It’s refreshing.” She complains with a worn out sigh.

Alma chuckled slightly. “Yeah, seems that way, don’t it? Look like they might sock ya one fer looking at ‘em too long. But, don’t you go judgin’ a book by its cover.” 

A man down at the very last bar stool to the left loudly groaned, “Al, be a dear, and hit me again.” 

She growled slightly before turning back to her new guest. “Think about whatcha want while I handle this good fer nuthin’. Wife left him, took the babe with her several months ago, and he’s still pickin’ up the pieces.” Her heels clicked as she walked over to him. “Gabriel, get over yerself. All this beer ain’t good. Go home, why dontcha? Ya been here all night.” 

“Read ‘em and weep.” Sanji says, setting his set of perfect cards down, the strangers that challenged them to a game of poker had their jaws sitting in their lap. Luffy only made a small noise of disappointment, as if he was even  _ close  _ to winning.

“Oh, fuck  _ you!”  _ Zoro snaps, throwing down his set of cards on the table. “You were cheating!” 

“No, I wasn’t! A meathead like you doesn’t have the brain for strategy!”

“Neither do you, and I know that for a  _ fact!”  _ The people to win at card games were usually Robin and Usopp, sometimes Nami depending on the game. As far as Zoro was concerned, his rival didn’t have the wherewithal, so he slammed a bottle of whiskey on the table. “We settle this like men. No smoke and mirrors.” 

“Fine, you sore loser!” The cook says, pushing his empty glass toward the bottle. “Fair. Amount.” 

“You don’t need to tell me. I ain’t a damn cheater like you.” 

“Oooh, pour me some before you start, Zoro.” Luffy says as he holds his cup out, ready to be thoroughly entertained. 

Franky and Robin finally looked over from their table, along with the group of carpenters they befriended to get intel. The raven-haired woman shook her head, mumbling about how that wasn’t a good idea. The cyborg agreed with her, but didn’t mind the entertainment. 

“Why? It’s just a drinkin’ contest.” 

“Yes, but these are the most stubborn and competitive pair of men on the planet. This will probably go on all night long.”

“I’ll play some fitting music!” Brook exclaims from the piano, the guy playing probably had went home or was on break. 

“Oh no.” Usopp says from the bar, knowing that he’s going to be the one to deal with a hammered cook who will either: A, try to sleep with him or B, forget that they’re lovers but remember that he’s with someone and complain about it or C, dealing him with while he’s vomiting. But, those are only when he hasn’t realized that he lost. It almost turned the younger man off the ice cold beer he ordered.

The first shots were taken, the clinking of glasses hitting the table became almost rhythmic. People started cheering, and the gambling had shifted to whether ‘grass-stain’ or ‘blondie’ would be the winner. People were amazed at the amount of alcohol they could withstand, it was almost as if they hadn’t downed fifteen shots while insulting each other between them. The music in the background, something fast paced and ragtime, gave it a comedic touch. 

“Hello, there.” A woman greets, sitting right next to the sniper. She wore dark makeup, half of her black head of hair was shaved, and the ripped jeans she wore were way too tight. “Some competition, huh?” 

“If you could call it that. They can be so stupid sometimes.” Usopp complains, still keeping is eye on the cook. 

“Who’s the blonde guy?” She asks so fast as if she had been waiting all night.

The young man’s brow raised in suspicion. “Why do you ask?” Too much weird shit has happened with Sanji so far to afford anything else to go down, so excuse him for being a little protective.

A little surprised at his rudeness. “I like him, he’s sweet and definitely my type. Is he single?” 

“No.” He deadpanned.

“It’s not  _ that  _ serious is it? I mean, being pirates and all, he can’t  _ possibly  _ only stand  _ one  _ person. Every guy has needs, you know.” She almost sounded like she had personal experience. “He’s too cute to pass up.”

Usopp slowly nodded, quietly taking a sip of his beer before looking at her again. He had a very small knowing smile on his face. “Yeah, I know he’s cute.” He says nonchalantly, purposefully ignoring the strange look he got. “But, he’s mine.” Finally he looked at her, and although his face is relaxed, dark eyes said something different. “Touch him and you’ll be sorry.”

“...Are you serious?” 

Knowing full well that she was asking if he was joking, “Yes. I will not hesitate to shoot your head clean off.” To further prove his point, he pulled out his slingshot and placed in on the bar. 

Once she saw the weapon, that’s when she finally believed him and became clearly appalled. “You would hit a  _ woman!?” _

Nami turned around. “What does  _ that  _ have to do with anything?” 

“I suggest you turn yer fat ass around and go back to yer table, Emogene.” Alma snapped at her, placing a bowl of fruit in front of her new favorite reindeer. “Yer causin’ nothin’ but trouble, ya married cow. I run a business here, so either sit back down, leave, or I call Dennis. Wait ‘til he hears ‘bout his newly wed trying it on with a drunk pirate.”

She stood up with a petty huff, and before she turned around, she flicked her hand to knock over Usopp’s beer, which spilled all down behind the bar. A high pitched, sarcastic ‘oops!’ was said before she walked away. Quickly whispering between her and her friends of the situation, the two strawhats knowing that they were all trying to glare holes through them. Not that they cared- they would be leaving town tomorrow morning anyway. 

“Feckin’ whore!” The bartender exclaims, snatching the towel from her shoulder to clean up the mess. “Get out, the lot of you!” Then she grumbled, “What a shame. Dennis is such a good man.”

“Sorry about that.” Usopp said, reverting back into his kind and shy self. He only had a hand waved at him from Alma, telling him that she didn’t need his apology. And just before the woman left, “His name is Sanji, by the way.” 

Nami cackled at that, Chopper turned around and stuck his tongue at them.

They didn’t leave without flipping everyone off and slamming doors, but no one noticed. The drinking contest was just getting good. The two pirates were on their third full bottle of whiskey, neither of them had even begun slurring words yet. To the patrons, they were liquor holding gods. To the gods, their challenge had only just begun. 

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to IcePrincesChan for the quote! I hoped you liked this!: “Yeah, I know he's cute. But, he's mine. Touch him and I'll kill you.”
> 
> “Is Alma Irish?” you ask… yes, yes she is. Mainly because I’ve been playing a little too much Fallout 4 lately. I was imagining if Cait was still her badass bitch self but super girly and ta-da! I’m also not sure if I’m qualified to make her Irish because I’m an angry Scot AND a Brit (I even have a kilt, I swear on my life). Oh well, lol.
> 
> Got an interesting quote or just more to add to the pile? Don’t hesitate to leave them in the reviews below or PM me! No matter how rated R or outrageous they are, I’m open to them all!


End file.
